And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
