i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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