My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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