That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
