Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
