I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
