I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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