She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
