He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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