two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
