Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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