You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
