You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.