Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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