Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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