Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm passing your future prison.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
