What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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