There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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