Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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