check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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