As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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