theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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