Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
