to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
