I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
