It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
