non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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