u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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