I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize