apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize