its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
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Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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