1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
