Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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