It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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