no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
