A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
