No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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