Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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