Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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