Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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