I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
