I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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