then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
