he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
worst night to have a conscience
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
