It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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