This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
