He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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