I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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