At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
