sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
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I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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