hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
