ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
