Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
