I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
