Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
