we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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