Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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