Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
