Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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