If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
