my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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