What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
